Saturday, March 25, 2006

near...




it is... exactly 3 days more before our big day... the most awaited moment of my college life... my graduation... i am expecting, tears, smiles, tears, and lots of smiles... as i walk down the red carpet to my awaiting seat... i will be there.

on that single seat waiting for me.

i, would be reminiscing the pain, hardships and things that roped my life in my school. the grass in the field. the dusty chair in my room. the rushing of students for their first class. and my being tardy and sloppy every morning. (laugh!)

but most of all, is encouraging the beauty of it. my best happy memories of events. i cannot count them on my fingers...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Purpose

This is an interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren said: People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, in a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one , or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes,or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people...You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for you to own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan - to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free. We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...God didn't put me on earth just to fulfil a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Reflections on Teaching


When I began thinking about teaching, I began it with a rather self-centered outlook: I will teach the way I wanted my teachers to teach me. I will be the kind of teacher I'd always wanted in high school. I also had a dream to be the revolutionary teacher from such faux-inspirational films as Stand and Deliver and Dangerous Minds. I wanted to buck the system, improve the quality of public education. This, I realized later, was also a self-centered (and extremely unrealistic) pursuit.

Upon studying more about educational theory and working directly with a number of public school systems (as a student-teacher, a long-term sub, and an on-call sub), I felt the shortcomings of my individuality: I had to learn to work with a community, and I had to serve the needs of members of that community (both students and faculty) who did not share my values, my learning style or my intellectual background.


I had a chat with Deborah (another teacher at my current school) once in which she lamented that she actually felt guilty for teaching in a private school. I reassured her she had nothing to feel guilty about. As one of my fellow graduate students once said (I'm paraphrasing): "We always talk about being where the students are. The students are everywhere." It's true there's a definite need for good teachers in public schools, particularly in lower-income schools, but truthfully, I see "good teachers" as only part of the solution. Schools that are struggling to meet even the "basic standards" of the state (whatever state it is) need administrators willing to change, parents willing to invest time and energy in their children's education, a supportive rather than a demanding government, and a workable budget that allows a school to function easily. "Good teachers" aren't enough.

I found myself, as a public school teacher, spending the bulk of my time dealing with discipline and paperwork. I would have to keep careful track of tardy slips, write cut slips and detention notices, make sure students did not physically harm one another, manage bathroom passes and hallway passes... the list of tasks that had no immediate bearing on curriculum weighed heavily on my idealistic shoulders. It was then I realized I wanted to be with students who wanted to learn in an environment that supported me, where parents, students, faculty, staff and others worked together to create not only good lesson plans and curriculum but also a good learning environment and a community. I thought Frisbee Dogs was a great addition to my current school's "Spirit Week" last year. We have Spirit Week events, faculty and student retreats, even Grandparents Day to foster community and remind ourselves that education is not just about the classroom.


Before coming to this school, I'd had a few encounters with self-selected groups of students and they were all wonderful. I worked as an SAT instructor for Kaplan. I taught conversational English to high school students in Hong Kong. I even taught Sunday School to middle school students in my family's church. Self-selected students know why they are there (in the classroom) and are more likely to take responsibility for their education. It is for that reason that I take the somewhat radical view that we should not have compulsory education in this country. We quickly went from little free, public education to much mandatory schooling. True change in education will not happen with the police, vice-principals, teachers, and parents strong-arming the children into classrooms. If the students bring themselves to the classroom, then they're ready to learn.

So, here I am at a private school, taking the time to learn from experience, from my fellow English department members and from the students. Suddenly, in a community where learning (not paperwork or discipline) is the primary concern, I can remind myself of the theoretical principles of quality teaching we talked so often about at my graduate school of education. I've always had a heart for education and a passion for teaching. Honestly, though, in recent years, I've gone back and forth between wanting to teach for the rest of my life (teaching and students--yay!) and quitting altogether in order to get a desk job (grading papers--boo!). I don't know where I'm headed. I love this community--the opportunity I have to teach wonderful students, work with supportive fellow faculty members, and have the educational luxuries I'd always dreamed about when I used to teach five classes (of 20-28 students per class), supervise two study halls a day, and have to plan my bathroom breaks.

The idea of schools having more money instead of better teachers sounds counter-intuitive, but there are numerous ways we benefit from a large endowment and a tuition- and donation-driven school. Faculty and staff are reimbursed for expenses. Students have to purchase books--so the books are less likely to be in bad condition, and the students can write and take notes in their books. Technology is readily available to students and faculty. Faculty can significantly cut down on "meetings" as well as stay in touch with each other better through the use of email. We have retreats, etc. --A.Y. Siu

Monday, March 20, 2006

On Flying Kites




One of my childhood dreams was to be able to fly a kite. For one reason or another, I could never quite pull it off. I envied greatly those playmates of mine who could launch a burst of color into infinity with apparently little effort. My kite seemed destined to be earthbound forever, and I didn't like it, not one bit.




I still don't like being earthbound. I want to fly! I want to explore the heights -- Up and Out There! I yearn for deliverance from the bondage of my humanity. I want to shake off the shackles of my aching muscles and poor hearing, my Tragedy Queen personality ("Nobody knows the trouble I've seen!") and my 3-M complex (mother-martyr-messiah). I want to be free of all those things which limit me, restrain me. Ah, yes, I want to be above it all!
But I can't fly. At least not by myself. I am like the kite, needing wind to bring me to life. Yes, I depend on the Risen Jesus to raise me up. Often He comes like a gusty March wind, stirring me up, shaking me out of my complacency, my boredom, my apathy. But for all His gustiness, the Lord is gentle. "A bruised reed he shall not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench" (Is. 42,3). How grateful I am that He respects my limits! In His mercy and compassion, He both honors and hallows our human condition.
Again like the kite, I cannot launch myself alone. I need the assistance of others. Sometimes the other will be one of the marvelous comrades God has given to me -- a cherished friend, a trusted confidant, a kindred spirit, a beloved spouse. More often than not, I will be launched by the very person who crosses me, angers me, hurts or disappoints me. We are all God's gift to each other. In one way or another, we touch and move every person who comes into our lives. We can either tie each other down or set one another free.
Kites fly best in wide-open spaces. So it behooves me to venture forth out of myself, out of my own little ideas and hidden agendas, surrendering myself with confidence and joy to the Risen Christ who goes before me into all the Galilees of my life. I must allow Him to lead and even carry me, if necessary, where He will. Letting go is essential. Kites that are tightly controlled remain earthbound and don't fly at all. In His own time, in His own way, Jesus will lead all of us out of our captivity, whatever it may be. In Him we are not only shown but given the Way.
So it is that here and now, in our earthly exile, we can share in the risen life of our Lord and Savior. Ours is the resurrection song for we are indeed an Easter people, raised to new life with and by Him who once was dead but now lives forever. ALLELUIA!
Alice Claire Mansfield
© March 1991

On Teaching



On Teaching
Kahlil Gibran
No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge.

The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness.

If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.

The astronomer may speak to you of his understanding of space, but he cannot give you his understanding.

The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm nor the voice that echoes it.

And he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight and measure, but he cannot conduct you thither.

For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man.

And even as each one of you stands alone in God's knowledge, so must each one of you be alone in his knowledge of God and in his understanding of the earth.

Give Us Hearts to Understand

Give Us Hearts to Understand

Give us hearts to understand;

Never to take from creation's beauty more than we give;

never to destroy wantonly for the furtherance of greed;

Never to deny to give our hands for the building of earth's beauty;

never to take from her what we cannot use.

Give us hearts to understand

That to destroy earth's music is to create confusion;

that to wreck her appearance is to blind us to beauty;

That to callously pollute her fragrance is to make a house of stench;

that as we care for her she will care for us.

We have forgotten who we are.

We have sought only our own security.

We have exploited simply for our own ends.

We have distorted our knowledge.

We have abused our power.

Great Spirit, whose dry lands thirst,

Help us to find the way to refresh your lands.

Great Spirit, whose waters are choked with debris and pollution,

help us to find the way to cleanse your waters.

Great Spirit, whose beautiful earth grows ugly with misuse,

help us to find the way to restore beauty to your handiwork.

Great Spirit, whose creatures are being destroyed,

help us to find a way to replenish them.

Great Spirit, whose gifts to us are being lost in selfishness and corruption,

help us to find the way to restore our humanity.

Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind,

whose breath gives life to the world, hear me;

I need your strength and wisdom.

May I walk in Beauty.


Today I purpose to live









My life will shine
As the morning sings
I walk in liberty
Bound in true dreams
Manifested promises
Chase my forward motion
A covered path before me
The fruits of my hoping
The fruits of my living

Today I purpose to love

My love will speak
With the sound of grace
Merciful within mercy
The works of my faith
Smiles of overflowing
Inspire my giving
Abundance of joy as rain
The fruits of my living

Sunlit paths of inner peace

Now I say to you in conclusion,
life is hard,
at times as hard as crucible steel. (Mmm)
It has its bleak and difficult moments.
Like the ever-flowing waters of the river,
life has its moments of drought and its moments of flood. (Yeah)
Like the ever-changing cycle of the seasons,
life has the soothing warmth of its summers
and the piercing chill of its winters. (Yeah)
But if one will hold on,
he will discover that God walks with him, (Yeah. Well)
and that God is able (Yeah) to lift you from the fatigue of despair
to the buoyancy of hope
and transform dark and desolate valleys
into sunlit paths of inner peace. (Mmm)

eulogy for the martyred children - martin luther king jr. - 1963

Modals

Life, I cannot
sleep and pain.

Speak, I will not
of restlessness and deeplessness.

Wither, I would not
reveal with uselessness and tranquility.

Make, I shall not
leave life without nothing ness.

Fool, I could not
write honesty and wrath.

Lose, I must not
defy my battle and boredom.

Death, I should not
with pain, happiness, and painless ness.